Threesome
by xXxThe Phantom's RosexXx
Summary: Clare gives Eli an unexpected wedding gift…and no, it's not what the title may suggest! Pure, unadulterated fluffiness. Please read and enjoy!


Threesome

**Author's Note: Get your minds out of the gutter. This is just pure cuteness and fluff, so please enjoy. Rated T for *_insert nasally 80s high school teacher vice here_* "suggestive material." Also, I do not own Degrassi.**

"And now, Clare would like to present her husband with a wedding gift," Bullfrog announced through the microphone he had snatched from the DJ, "If everyone could, please follow us outside."

"What is this?" Eli leaned in and whispered in his wife's ear, "You know I don't like surprises, Clare."

"But you're going to _love_ this one."

"We'll see," Eli kissed right above her ear before following her outside.

Clare giggled as they neared the heavy front doors of the country club, "Are you ready?"

"I guess," Eli sighed, apprehensively.

"Alrighty then," Clare swung open the doors, and stepped outside.

"Oh my God," Eli said, trying to pick his eyeballs up from the ground, "Clare…_seriously_?"

In the circular driveway of the country club, sat a shiny black hearse. It was clearly vintage, but had had a lot of work done to it. The black paint looked almost patent leather, and there was a shiny silver skull adorning the hood.

"I made some calls," Clare explained, "After the crash, Bullfrog had Morty sent over to a chop shop. The chop shop sold Morty to a guy who works on vintage or broken cars. The guy apparently fixed him all up, and I called him up several months ago and we arranged for me to buy Morty back from him."

"This…this is _Morty_?"

"Yeah," Clare smiled, her eyes filling with tears as she saw how happy Eli was, "This is Morty. New and improved. Check out the interior…"

"Oh _wow_," Eli swung open the door, "Clare…how much did you spend on this?"

"Does it matter?" Clare asked, "Your face right now was worth it."

"I thought you hated the thing," Eli ran the sleeve of his tux along the roof of the hearse.

"I was angry," Clare admitted, "Morty was just…a red herring. So…what do you think?"

"_What do I think_?" Eli chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair, "I think…" he grabbed Clare in his arms and swung her around, "…that I have the _best_ damn wife anyone would be lucky to have."

Clare giggled as he sat her back down on the pavement, "Bullfrog?"

"Ah, yes," Bullfrog dug a keychain from his pocket and handed it to his son, "The key."

"Thank you so much," Eli pressed the key to his heart, "Wow…okay, where shall we go first?"

"Eli…the reception isn't through yet…"

"Screw the reception," Eli turned to the crowd of guests that had formed, "Everybody, thank you for coming, it meant a lot. But now, I have to take my wife to re-christen Morty!"

"_Eli_!" Clare gasped, a deep blush painting across her cheeks.

"What?" He shrugged, "Get in, Blue Eyes."

"Eli…"

"Don't make me pick you up and toss you in."

Clare rolled her eyes and slid into the passenger seat. Eli turned the key in the ignition. As he revved the engine, he leaned his head back against the headrest.

"God, that feels good!"

"Eli, it's a car. Your first orgasm on our wedding day better not be on account of a _car_!"

"I dunno, beautiful, you've got some competition."

"Eli," Clare wined, "Shut up and drive."

Eli placed his hands on the wheel and adjusted the mirrors, "God, Clare…I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just…the last time I was behind this wheel…"

"Oh hush. Morty forgives you."

"But, sometimes I still find it hard to forgive myself."

"It's fine," Clare reached up to touch a dark strand of hair that was falling into his eyes, "That's all in the past now. Morty and I both forgive you. Now what do you say we take this old hunk-a-junk to be christened? Just as long as you don't start getting another orgasm…I don't want a threesome with a hearse, Eli."

Eli rolled his eyes before saying, "Thank you, Clare. This really…this means so much."

"I know," Clare brushed the hair from his eyes.

"Alright," Eli cleared his throat, "Enough mushy stuff."

He firmly placed his foot on the accelerator, and Morty sped off with the newlyweds into the sunset.

**Author's Note: Totally cheesy, totally cute. That was what I was going for. Hope you enjoyed**


End file.
